Do I Trust YOU?

Lately, life has resembled a bulky sweater which had a loose thread. Someone pulled that thread and the sweater is unraveling at a speed faster than this girl can knit. During my feverish attempts to fix the stitching, my fingers have become numb, my mind frayed, my body fatigued, and my emotions -- well -- there is no nice way to put it.

Through it all, though, I cry out to my Father. He is faithful, merciful, and never impatient with my apparent deficit in trust. Whenever I ask, He is ready with words of encouragement, usually out of Scripture.

For instance, little more than a week ago, I felt as though the treadmill was increasing its incline and speed while at the same time the load on my back grew exponentially. I cried over the smallest things. Lint on my pants, as insignificant as it may seem was cumbersome. Why?

This road, Jeff's health, our finances, our disintegrating home, and my time with family all took a turn somewhere back in 2001 (September), and ran as fast downhill as I was going uphill. Neither of us would meet again. In 2004, Jeff's legs swelled to the size of a woman's waist (an 8?) and our relationship took a nosedive. I had always feared financial collapse. I won't go into it, but I've had enough financial and relational liver to last an eternity. Blech!

I began to sense those on the fringe looking at us and shaking their heads and fingers. It would be better for me if I walked away and took the kids with me. I truly believed this. Not knowing who to trust, I tried to keep things quiet for quite some time. It worked until this pressure cooker couldn't contain its pressure any longer and began spouting forth its pain, only to feel guilty later because no one really wants to hear it, right? Besides, people have enough of their own problems.

So here we were, last week. A dear friend prayed with me after I'd pleaded with God throughout the weekend to speak to me. Finally, He did, and this is what He said:

"You shall no longer be termed forsaken, nor shall your land any more be termed desolate; but you shall be called Hephzibah, and your land Beulah; for the LORD delights in you." (Isaiah 62:4 NKJ)

WOW! Imagine my excitement when I read this. It is not unusual for Him to direct me to Scripture. His ways of getting me there, though, are always unique and unexpected. SO, while we wait for the judgment on Jeff's disability, and I prepare to have knee surgery in a couple months (hopefully I can wait until June), I will cling to these words.

I know this has been a longer post than my usual, but the following song really glues my heart to His at this time.

Have a great week.

It's been a pleasure to visit with you.