Faithful?

Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, 

for He who promised is faithful.

Hebrews 10: 23 NKJV

Faithful? Faithful.

Finances have been anorexic in my home for several years and unless God turns it around, we will be seeing the rib cage soon. This in large part has played a role in my previous post about trust. I was doing all I could to bring in the income we were receiving. Jeff’s disability is still in “review” with the appeals panel in Washington D.C. and our insurance has taken a vacation due to error in the system. We have had to choose whether to scream and kick our feet—I’ve made this choice too often—or cry out to God for His intervention.

Then the day came when I had to put gas in the van and pray I could make it to work and back over the next several days until I was paid again. I had carefully planned the direction of every penny. Then something unexpected happened and I was short. Thankfully, my tithe check was already deducted from my ledger, so I was not concerned.

That is until I slid in behind the steering wheel and saw that fuel needle hover too low on the gauge. I did the only thing I could do. I dipped into my overdraft fund so that I could make it to church and work. Shaken and choking down despair I drove to church and watched my hand tremble as I dropped that tithe check into the offering. It IS God’s money, after all, right?

My heart screamed. All reason told me, “Listen, God will understand.”
Perhaps He would, but then again, it’s been so long since I’ve been able to be faithful in giving to God what’s His. I knew I had to do it . . . and I cried the rest of the day.

That was March 28.

The next night, my daughter came home from a class and gave me a card. I opened it and saw it was from a woman at my church. It read, “Karlene, I’ve been asking God how I can bless you, and I felt I you might enjoy a couple hours of pampering.” There was a gift certificate to a salon.

Photobucket.com

This woman had no idea that the following Saturday, April 2, was my birthday. She had no idea that in the quiet of my room, in the middle of the night, I asked my Father how I was going to manage to cut my hair again without totally creating a mess. What she knew was God asked her to send me that gift.

I feared returning to church the following Sunday. Several knew of my overdraft situation and worried about me. How in the world would I explain a new hair style?

The first person I saw that day commented on my hair and my first words, without thinking were, “It was a birthday gift from God.”

He is faithful to us. He will delight in giving us the desires of our hearts when we delight in Him.


It's been a pleasure to visit with you.

Do I Trust YOU?

Lately, life has resembled a bulky sweater which had a loose thread. Someone pulled that thread and the sweater is unraveling at a speed faster than this girl can knit. During my feverish attempts to fix the stitching, my fingers have become numb, my mind frayed, my body fatigued, and my emotions -- well -- there is no nice way to put it.

Through it all, though, I cry out to my Father. He is faithful, merciful, and never impatient with my apparent deficit in trust. Whenever I ask, He is ready with words of encouragement, usually out of Scripture.

For instance, little more than a week ago, I felt as though the treadmill was increasing its incline and speed while at the same time the load on my back grew exponentially. I cried over the smallest things. Lint on my pants, as insignificant as it may seem was cumbersome. Why?

This road, Jeff's health, our finances, our disintegrating home, and my time with family all took a turn somewhere back in 2001 (September), and ran as fast downhill as I was going uphill. Neither of us would meet again. In 2004, Jeff's legs swelled to the size of a woman's waist (an 8?) and our relationship took a nosedive. I had always feared financial collapse. I won't go into it, but I've had enough financial and relational liver to last an eternity. Blech!

I began to sense those on the fringe looking at us and shaking their heads and fingers. It would be better for me if I walked away and took the kids with me. I truly believed this. Not knowing who to trust, I tried to keep things quiet for quite some time. It worked until this pressure cooker couldn't contain its pressure any longer and began spouting forth its pain, only to feel guilty later because no one really wants to hear it, right? Besides, people have enough of their own problems.

So here we were, last week. A dear friend prayed with me after I'd pleaded with God throughout the weekend to speak to me. Finally, He did, and this is what He said:

"You shall no longer be termed forsaken, nor shall your land any more be termed desolate; but you shall be called Hephzibah, and your land Beulah; for the LORD delights in you." (Isaiah 62:4 NKJ)

WOW! Imagine my excitement when I read this. It is not unusual for Him to direct me to Scripture. His ways of getting me there, though, are always unique and unexpected. SO, while we wait for the judgment on Jeff's disability, and I prepare to have knee surgery in a couple months (hopefully I can wait until June), I will cling to these words.

I know this has been a longer post than my usual, but the following song really glues my heart to His at this time.

Have a great week.

It's been a pleasure to visit with you.