Fearless?

I can't truly say I've been afraid of many things in my life. Snake bites, dog attacks, falling off cliffs, and death rank pretty high, but not enough to paralyze me in fear. However, I was fearful when it involved my children. I feared losing them to death or worse, me dying and them unable to find or own their faith in God.

The LORD is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The LORD is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid? (Psalm 27:1 NKJV)

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About eleven years ago, I was preparing for my third child's arrival. For reasons to long and irrelevant to this post, we chose to go through a midwife for his birth. She sent us home with books and articles, research material, and options we never knew were available to parents regarding their infant.

One decision we made was relayed to the pediatrician the day we took our son for his well-baby checkup. The pediatrician became somewhat hostile towards us, coming close to accusing us of endangering our child's life while I watched him lift my son in the air and drop him several inches to a foot testing his reflexes. Hmmm...

I spent the next few nights fretting over the words of this pediatrician. The wrestling match I had with God was fierce. After all, I had believed I understood God's direction in this matter and my husband was completely on board with the decision.

Then one night, I felt impressed on my heart this question, "Will you trust Me with him? If he lives, he's Mine. If he dies, he's Mine."

"Um, if he dies?" Believe me, I had to really weigh that one out. This little man and I had a special connection. He and I spent our first night staring at each other, then every waking moment after that. I had difficulty letting anyone hold him for some reason. But after intense deliberation, my conclusion was, "God, You're the only One I would trust with him."

For He shall give His angels charge over you, to keep you in all your ways. (Psalm 91:11 NKJV)

Since that time, multiple occasions arose that could have rattled me and brought out the steel room with padded walls so I could protect my boy. With each incident, though, a scale of that fear fell off; until one day, I realized how healthy and strong my son is. And not only is he strong physically, he has a depth in his faith in God that astounds me. He simply trusts God. For every situation, he wants prayer.

In fact, it was through this little 10 1/2 year old man that God protected me from traffic tragedies when my van needed repairs. HE would wake my son in the middle of the night with dreams, compelling him to pray for me, or whoever this dream was about. This knowledge gives me a safe feeling, knowing that God is watching over us.

When God sets a watch over us, we can ask like Elisha did for his servant, "Please let him (us) see," and watch the eyes be opened to see the myriad chariots and heavenly host poised to do battle for us.


It's been a pleasure to visit with you.