Secure?

Secure? Secure.
The LORD is my rock, 
my fortress and 
my deliverer;
my God is my rock,
in whom I take refuge.
He is my shield and
the horn of my salvation,
my stronghold.
Psalm 18: 2 NIV 

I love it when I can climb into a place of safety and know that nothing can harm me, not even a storm of tsunami proportions. For my entire life, I have searched for this place, coming to realize it is an illusory and hopeless search, so I might as well grip to whatever handrail I can find and allow my body to flail and flap in the winds of hurricanes, tornadoes, and those tsunamis.

That's a rather dismal look at life, isn't it? For me, it created a tortuous existence in which I always knew I was a second away from unraveling and becoming a knotted heap on the floor. My condition has been worse than Humpty's impending doom. There were no horses or men who would ever be able to untie the knots and knit me back together and I would lay at the base of creation a wadded mess, tripping any who dared to pass by.

Ten and a half years ago, I felt as though God spoke to me saying, "I'm going to take that insecurity."

I was thrilled at the time and immediately responded, "Go ahead, whatever it takes."

 HA! Here I am to tell you, He has done it. Not only has He taken me from afraid to be around complete strangers, but He has placed me in situations where I have been faced with two choices, speak to those strangers or stay in the corner alone and lonely for an undetermined amount of time. But this is not all.

He has allowed me to walk through a season in which I haven't known whether we would have a home from one month to the next, let alone the modern conveniences that allow me to keep my food cold, clothes washed and dried, and hot showers. My emotions have run the gamut of sheer terror to unnerving calm. Personally, I like the calm. I can relate to Jay Austin's description of his situation as serene chaos in the days I face lately (Flywheel).

I would be crazy to pretend that God is finished, but I will say that I am more secure in who God has created me to be today than I was a year ago.



It's been a pleasure to visit with you.