Normally,
I try to put on a brave face and make you believe that what was said doesn’t
bother me. Usually, you couldn’t tell whether I was upset or glad. I’d square
my shoulders, clench my teeth and fists, and march forward into the battle you
send my way. Voices of my neighbors faithfully cast doubt into my heart,
causing me to question the amount of striving I do.
Is it
enough? Others, do they see me struggling so?
Of
course, you confirm those thoughts with, “Sure they see what you’re doing. It
isn’t enough. They think you’re lazy, a taker, and waiting for someone to
rescue you from your mess. You created it. You get out of it.”
When
I hear those things, I push harder, do more, and add greater pressure to this
weary body. But then, as I pressed, my emotions frayed, trust dwindled—even in
the idea that my Father loves me—and I found myself incapable of coping with
anything or anyone. This, you stole from me: Confidence in my Savior, Lord,
Redeemer, and Provider and the sense of value that says, I’m worth it.
No
more.
I
will lift up my eyes to the hills—from whence comes my help? My help comes from
the LORD, who made heaven and earth.
He
will not allow your foot to be moved; He who keeps you will not slumber,
behold, He who keeps Israel shall neither slumber nor sleep.
The
LORD is your keeper; The LORD is your shade at your right hand. The sun shall
not strike you by day, nor the moon by night.
The
LORD shall preserve you from all evil; He shall preserve your going out and
your coming in from this time forth, and even forevermore.
(Psalm
121)
Since
our last encounter, I have gone to spend time with my Father and this is what
He told me: “I conceived you, planned your life from the beginning. There is
nothing you can do to make Me love you less. Call on Me, I Am there day and
night. I never sleep, never go on vacation, or find Myself too busy to care for
you.”
Yesterday,
you came to visit again and whispered some frightening things into my ear. I am
not going to listen. In fact, I have called my Father and I hear Him coming.
His footsteps are pounding, shaking the earth where I stand. As promised, He is
presently crushing your lies and you will back down.
And
they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony,
and they did not love their lives to the death.
(Revelation
12: 11)
I'm vising over at The Barn Door today; would love to see you there.
Thanking God everyday for you.
Hi and welcome. Whether you like tea, coffee, or chocolate, you will find this a great place to grab some and find yourself basking in the amazing love of our Father. He's always here, arms open wide, ready to hold us and celebrate or ease the pain. I've experienced both sides of that lately and am pleased to say, "I can now, in confidence, Dance in the Rain."
